A splurge by any other name

 To splurge or not to splurge? That is the question. Is it actually a valid question when your eating is spiraling out of control? If it is out of control, why is there a need for a splurge at all?

 I personally consider a splurge to be a reward. A little something extra that maybe I don't usually eat. So is it a reward if you don't exactly deserve a reward? I actually think that may be up to the individual to decide. I can't say I'm ever sure about it myself.

 Sometimes I think I am handling things very well. Then something comes up. Maybe it was a holiday. Maybe something stressful happened. And then I am suddenly not handling things. And food is just something that I use like a drug. It makes me happy and I can't seem to stop. I obsess. Then I act compulsively. And I eat without a care in the world. I block out all rational thought. And then I'm full and I don't feel so good anymore.

 But then slowly, I will try to pull the control back in. Obsess in the right way about eating right and start handling things again. But here is the real problem. The truth is, food is the one addiction we can never give up. So can you ever really gain control over it?

 This was my splurge on this particular occasion. An omelet. yes, a simple omelet. With mozzarella cheese, bell peppers, and tomatoes.A little salsa for some extra kick to it. And dry wheat toast. And coffee of course. I do love me some hot coffee.

It was a splurge. I think they use 5 eggs to make their omelets. But as I have said, I love eggs. I also love cheese. I chose mozzarella because I find cheddar to be a little too tart, for lack of a better description. I like an easy going cheese. Nothing too pungent or sharp or bitter or tart. I also got a bit of salsa to put on top. I don't add a lot of spice in food so this is really just a way to wake up my mouth. Quite satisfying in my opinion.

Here's another one of my strange food rules. I hate yogurt. It has a chalky consistency. You cant fix it or dress it up or make it likeable in any way.  It's just gross. But strangely enough, I do like cottage cheese. Sometimes. Except never for breakfast. Maybe for dinner, beside a nice salad. Yep, then I will eat it. Sounds weird even to me. Anyway, just a side note.

I also had dry wheat toast. If I get toast it means I get to choose individual jelly packs.  I get an oddly childlike joy in playing in the jelly basket. I take them all out. Group the together. Pick my favorite. Then put them all back in an arrangement the makes sense to my funny little brain. It is obsessive and I don't even care. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. And I know I am not the only person who does it. Probably.

I ate all of the omelet. It was just so good. Oink. That's all that I can say. I did only eat part of the toast. And I have a tendency to eat around the crust. If I happen to be at home, I just cut the crust off. I do try to be on my best behavior in public though. It was all  so very good.

So another fine breakfast.  Only kind of a splurge maybe. I was feeling full and was still full from my holiday splurge fest. I waddled on home but I always look forward to my next wonderful breakfast. Until then.

Eat well.

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving

I don't consider myself particularly smart. But maybe at least a little bit insightful. When it comes to food I do tend to have plenty to say.

I am going to step away from my usual breakfast discussion right now though since we are having a holiday. I want to use this time to talk about Thanksgiving. Some from the past, which I don't usually dwell on. but mostly about the day at hand.

I am going to put this right out there. I happen to be a great cook. Well, at least when it comes to baking. The turkey, the dressing, the yams, the baked beans, the deviled eggs. I am awesome. However that is not what I am serving this year at Thanksgiving. It will just be myself and a close friend and I am making something different. But do not fear. It will be just as good. Just not as traditional.

There it is. Traditional food. The things we grew up eating. All of the things I mentioned above and more. What was traditional in your family? I would add pea salad, potato salad, burned buns just to name a few more to our tradition.

It was comfort foods. Rich and decadent. Things that were good even of they weren't. If you ever ate a dried out turkey you understand what I mean. But the tradition also has to do with being with family, and who sits where, and stop arguing, and let's watch the parade. Someone had to do the dishes and then pass out in front of the tv. Dessert later after some of that food has settled.

So, if you're lucky maybe your old traditions and newer ones can be not only about what's on the table but also about who you are with today or remember from the past. Be thankful on Thanksgiving. Just my 2 cents worth.

What am I serving? A pork loin roast with red potatoes, baby carrots, peas and a bit of onion. I am going to confess something though. I cooked it a week ahead of time and put it in the freezer. So now I have it all thawed out and it just has to be reheated. I already know it came out moist and delicious. Maybe I cheated a little. But in my defense I wanted the day to be as unstressful as possible and that was the simplest solution.

So enjoy the day and make the best of it. Be thankful for who and what you have. Until next time..
Eat well.

These are a few of my favorite things.

 What is your favorite food? I have been asking this question of myself and of friends and family. The truth is, most people have to stop and consider the question. I love so many things myself. It was cereal once upon a time. But I actually stopped eating cereal because I simply could not control myself. I would get out my big Jethro bowl and eat the whole box. I am not exaggerating. Then I tried to do the measuring cup thing. Portion control. And I simply was not satisfied. But if asked at that time what my favorite cereal was, it was Cookie Crisp. So much goodness in one box. And fat and calories and all that badness too. It would tear up the roof of my mouth and I didn't care. I just kept shoveling it in. But now I just don't eat cereal at all. And I miss it. Sigh..

 So what makes us have a favorite food? Something we can't get enough of and will eat past our limit. It could be the flavor or the texture. It could be something that reminds us of our childhood. Or just makes us happy in general. Take me to my happy place, cereal. It did do that. Until I was too full to move. Then, not so happy.

 Is eating our favorite foods just a way to get to our happy place? I guess it's possible. I kind of know why I eat too much. But I've never really asked this of others. So I ask, What is your favorite food?    Do you limit it, do you over do it?  I will explore this question more deeply and see if I can come up with any new revelations.

 But for now and for today I have decided it's time to go outside my comfort zone again and try another new dish.
  I did try something new. But not something I had never had before. I didn't exactly step outside of my comfort zone I guess.

 I had a blueberry pancake with warm blueberry compote and 2 eggs cooked over medium.

 I also ordered the hazelnut coffee. That was something different for me. I must say I may order it again in the future. It was quite good. It really does have a combination sweet and nutty flavor. But had to use regular cream so no other flavor would affect the hazelnut.

These little things actually mean a lot to me. Go figure. Obsess much. No, not me..Okay, yes. I gave it a great deal of consideration. But it was worth it.

 The pancake was tasty. I knew it would be. I have had it before without the compote. Pancakes are much softer in texture than waffles. But texture is one of the the things that make us enjoy what we eat. Texture, taste, aroma. They all matter. And they were all there. I didn't eat a lot of the compote because it was so sweet. Even I have my limit believe it or not.  And there were blueberries cooked into the pancake. But it all came together so well.

 Once upon a time I would never order pancakes with compote because I didn't know how to pronounce it correctly. These are the little quirks in life that make me who I am.

 The eggs were cooked very nicely too. I ate them first. Mashed them all together and practically licked it all up. I told you I love eggs.

 Not an exciting meal I guess. But a very satisfying one for me. I have lots of thoughts. Sometimes it's just a matter of putting it down on paper, so to speak. So until next time..

Eat well.

                                                 One of my many breakfasts pictured here.

That was different.

Food glorious food. Yes, back to that. If you have never watched the opening scene of the movie Oliver, please do so. The musical, yes, that's the one I am talking about. With all of the wonderful food being brought in past the thin, underfed boys. I am more like the overfed governors in the cozy room with a fireplace getting ready to over indulge in all kinds of smells, flavors and textures.

I confess, I am guilty of gluttony. I will eat over my limit. Until I feel sick. But I don't play that game. Where I promise I wont do it again. I know I will do it again. I am a compulsive over eater. It's what I do.

But, now I will tell you about some the things I will not, do not, can not eat. Strange but true. I have things I wont eat. And reasons too. I am an odd one, I do admit it.

Since I talk a lot about breakfast we can start there. I will not eat grits. Gross. They're gritty. Hence the name, I realize. But that texture on my sensitive palate. Nope, no way. Not going to happen. Yuck. Texture matters just as much as smell and taste. To me at least.

Fruit. Don't like very many fruits. But the worst. Bananas and strawberries. They are EVIL. I said it, I meant it. The both have major design faults. Bananas. The texture. It just isn't natural. The taste is twangy. Only word to describe it. No bananas for me mom.

Strawberries. Their seeds grow on the outside of the fruit. That's not right. Just isn't. Strawberry flavored things, are pretty tasty. Then the fruit itself is weird and yes, gritty. Mother nature's way of messing with us. How dare she. So again, texture matters and I will pass on the strawberries.

There's more but don't want to give up all my secrets at one time. No new breakthroughs this week. Just letting you know what goes on inside my crazy little head.

I will move on to the breakfast at hand. I will describe it as best as I can since I am again trying something new today.
 I tried something new. I got a frittata. Basically an open omelet. Meh. Don't get me wrong. It was tasty. I personally think I am quite funny when I tell the waitress it was awful after almost licking the plate clean.

It had eggs and cheese and tomatoes and mushrooms. It was good. It just didn't excite me. If I wanted boring food I would have stayed home. But I enjoy the eating out experience. So not a total loss. Oh, and it was one of those instances where I know there are too many calories to count so I call it a splurge day. You know, so THOSE calories didn't get counted. Such is the life of a food addict. I decide when the calories count and when they don't. I know I can't be the only person that does that. Am I?

There was also my usual coffee. Dark roast, 3 sweet and lows and 2 sugar-free french vanilla individual cups. I have decided I might try a different coffee next time. That's still up for debate. Unfortunately it's one of the most exciting things I have going on in my life right now.

So, in conclusion. There are lots of great tastes in the world. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface and I will let you know how my next meal out goes. Until then..

Eat well

Breakfast Fun

So, breakfast. which actually does mean to break a fast. True story.

I love breakfast foods. Biscuits and gravy, bacon, pancakes, waffles. Toast and jelly. Love them all. And they love me. Which brings me to a break through I already have had. I know! Watch me go!  Why do I eat? Why do I overeat? Because I love the food, and it loves me back. It tastes good, it smells good. It's savory and sweet and has a wonderful texture. It makes me happy and never laughs at me or rejects me or makes fun of me. It takes me to my happy place. Yes, I figured it out. I just don't know how to fix it. Damn.

This particular breakfast was quite good. I ordered water and the seasonal blend coffee for starters to drink. I to feel like I was trying something new but not too far out of my comfort zone. Water was just to make me feel like I was being healthy, and I use the the ice to cool down my coffee. I am very ritualistic with what I eat and drink.

I put 3 sweet and lows and 1 individual cup of sugar free french vanilla. I discussed the flavor afterwards with the waitress. It was the seasonal blend which I hadn't had before. It was nutty and sweet with a hint of cinnamon. The french vanilla made it sweeter. In the future I would likely add plain creamer. It reminded me of mincemeat. I drank 2 cups. That's typical of me

How can I be so descriptive of the flavor? There's this strange talent I have. I can smell a food or a drink and just based on the aroma I can tell how it will taste. Weird but true.

Then I ordered 2 eggs over medium and a waffle with no butter or powdered sugar. Yummy.  With sugar free syrup.

Why, you may ask, such a picky order? I tend to obsess over everything. The carbs, the sugar, the calories. I have been doing this for so long I already know how much of each I will be eating. But it's when I stop obsessing, that's when I over eat and over do and stop counting calories. So I spend most days thinking about what I will eat and when and how much. Just how I live my life.

First I had my eggs. I love eggs. From my head down to my legs. I will eat them cooked most any way. But today I got them fried over medium. They put them on a separate plate. I liked that. I don't always like one food touching another food. I'm fun like that. And I had to salt and pepper them. Not too much, just makes it a little better in my mind.  I mash them up cause I like to break the yolk and mix the yellow and white together. I finished them completely before moving on to my last item.

It was a waffle. It was cooked perfectly. One of the best I had ever had actually. I am confessing right here and now I could have eaten two. But since I was in public, It seemed a bit much. I actually for reasons unknown to me can't seem to use a knife properly. One of the good things about eating alone is I can tear the waffle apart with my fingers without being afraid of what someone might say. then I put on what I feel is a reasonable amount of syrup. 1/4 of a cup is a serving by the way. I usually guesstimate 2. I decided to try dipping it next time so the syrup doesn't get the waffle soggy. That waffle deserved a trophy. It was just that good.

Then it was over. I was a little disappointed. But I was trying to not overdo it on this particular day. And promised myself that next week I could try something new.

Yes, I obsess about what I eat, how I eat, and everything in between. But maybe if I share these experiences. I can figure out my issues. And learn about what's making me tick. Maybe someone else knows what it's like to obsess like this too.

Until next time.

Eat well

Food. My favorite thing.

Food glorious food. Is it really? I am an admitted food addict. And even though I will talk about the food I eat. This is more about how the food makes me feel. Food is the one addiction you can never give up. So I am going to do a lot of self analysis and examination to determine why I love food. Why I eat. Why I over eat.

And maybe this process will act as a little self therapy. I may not be able to cure my addiction. But maybe in understanding it I can gain a bit of self control over it. Maybe not. Time will tell.

How I became a food addict isn't ever important. Mistakes I have made in the past are over and gone. From now on when I go out to eat and enjoy my meal, I plan to write about it. What it was, why I liked it, or didn't like it, and how I feel in general .

It will mostly be breakfast type food but as time progresses I may stray away from that.

There may be someone else out there that understands my addiction. Suffers from the same issues. And may even benefit from my revelations. I may even be able to get someone to understand the addiction even if they don't suffer from it themselves. Again, time will tell.

So today I begin this journey. And maybe I will find myself along the way.
I am not a food expert. Just someone that loves food. So to everyone else out there who understands that much.
Eat well.